Friday, October 15, 2010


 Before we left Guam in retrospect is:  
We had an amazing tour from Ray Stiers.  He was so full of info and fun. It was possibly one of the best tours. I apologies up front there was so much info thrown at me and Kevin and I didn’t want to sit and write- we wanted to enjoy all the info and sights and I am trying to remember what we where told so some facts maybe wrong, names butchered and giant missing chunks.
Off the top before we get all histories out we heard some people talking and there is so little violent crime here it is insane, no murders, beggars but there are thieves. The coldest temp recorded in Guam- is 70 degrees (this was my view out of the hotel).
Before Europeans landed in Guam the only animals to climb on shore here where crabs, No bugs either. The Europeans brought everything (dieses, flies, lizards and so on) Chamorro (Guam natives) believed hell was in the sky and heaven was in the ground, they feared the sky because of weather.

 IT is a major travel day- and Carol, stephen, downey and I are talking about singapore- here is what i learned and shared with the group.

KEVIN DOWNEY JR's hero Micheal Fay.
DESCRIPTIONS OF THE EXPERIENCE BY MEN WHO HAVE BEEN CANED: The famous Micheal Fay was Quoted (Downeys hero)
"Someone said 'count one!' and he took three steps, swinging (the cane) back and forth, before hitting me on the third step. You hear a crack when it hits you. About a second went by and then it just burned all through my body. And it hurts, it does hurt. I felt a deep burning sensation throughout my body, real pain. My flesh was ripped open." (4 strokes)

AFTER EFFECTS: THE HEALING OF THE WOUNDS: The wounds of caning take several weeks to heal. "My buttocks swelled a little bit ... the wounds hurt for about five days after which they itched as they healed. The first couple of days it was very hard to sit. Now on one side there are three dark brown scar patches on my right buttock, and four lines each about 1. 2cm wide on my left buttock, where the flesh was torn (Michael Fay - 4 strokes)

The thing everyone knows when you say Singapore is their laws:” Singapore's government is strict on drug laws, with the death penalty applied for drug trafficking (guess we won’t be sneaking VIAGRA out of Guam). It is also against the entry of firearms, controlled drugs, and endangered species of wildlife, chewing gum and cigarette lighters in the shape of a firearm. Smoking in public buses, the, taxis, elevators and air-conditioned places is also deemed against the law; with fines up to 1,000 bucks. The government is also adamant that littering is an offence and carries penalties of a fine of $1,000 or more; and also a stint of corrective work order”. But what really looms over us on this trip is what it will take to get Kevin Downey Jr. Caned- so without further adoue let us talk Caning:
Kev goes for a kiss

Judicial corporal punishment by caning is in widespread use for males in Singapore. Thousands of canings are ordered each year.
Men are caned not only for serious crimes but sometimes also for non-violent offences like illegal entry, sale or transport of fireworks, vandalism, traffic offences, stealing material from other comics(look out hacks) or offences committed by companies they own or manage.

About to drop a HIROSHIMA
Many people want to know- Her Mark “WHAT CANING ENTAILS” just that and en of a cane and your tail.
Caning in Singapore is administered across the bare ass, he (meaning Downey) is stripped naked and shackled by strong leather straps, held down in a bent-over position with his buttocks protruding (nothing he isn’t used to so far). He is then punished by a well-built warder wielding a flexible four-foot long length of rattan which has been soaked in water (Kevin usually has to pay extra for that).

SAKI in a juice box. love this place (Tokyo)
There are dozens of offences for which a man might be given the cane other than being old -- from serious violent crimes to some non-violent offences that seem relatively minor in the good ol US of A but are regarded as serious in Singapore, like well, sale or use of chewing gum is an offence (though not a caneable one) and where people can be prosecuted and fined significant sums for dropping litter (I like it), smoking in public places, or failing to flush a public toilet after use (no pearl harbor pranks here I guess).

 David Laee Roth
As a mandatory sentence where Downey can’t talk his way out: Caning is mandatory for over 40 different offences. These range from serious crime, such as rape, robbery, or drug-trafficking, to lesser offences -- possession of offensive weapons (such as a knife, dagger or sword or a sense of humor like John Trueson), vandalism (joke stealing, spray painting or a second offence of putting a poster to a wall), or the sale, transport, delivery, or import of fireworks.

Men who enter Singapore illegally or who overstay their visas by more than 90 days automatically receive a minimum of 3 strokes of the cane (Downey has no worries here he like to do as little work as possible- but over staying his welcome can happen instantly, just ask the Japanese family who left the hot tub as soon as Downey got in).
BIG HITS USA: awesome Japanese version of MTV
Caning is optional for many further offences in case the mayor likes Downey he can choose:
These include rioting, extortion, living off the earnings of prostitution (sorry Downey), manslaughter, and causing hurt. It has also been introduced for a third offence for certain road traffic offences.
Mark, we were wondering “WHO ORDERS THE PUNISHMENT”: Anyone who has to sit through Downeys act would order one but only Superintendent, the Prison Governor, or the Visiting Justices can act on it, so aren’t inviting them.

“HOW MANY STROKES ARE GIVEN”: The Criminal Procedure Code lays down that 24 strokes is the maximum that can be ordered at any one trial. The strokes must all be inflicted on the same occasion, and not in installments. The Prison cane is 1.2 meters long and 1.3 cm. thick. It is about as long as a broom handle and as thick as a man's little finger – Nothing Downey can’t handle either way it is used. THE PREPARATION OF THE CANEIS IMPORTANT-  The cane is soaked overnight in water, so it is supple and properly lubed for Mr. Downey- no bare back on his bareback. The Prisons Department says this is to prevent it from splitting and shearing the skin. However, it is treated with antiseptic before use and I think we all think that’s mighty nice of them.

I need to come back to Japan, everyone is so polite is amazing. Free booze on the plane, 15 channels with movies, video games and so on. I watched some nature shows with horrible translations that made me laugh out loud. Then I found Big Hits USA. This little old man introduces videos and it was awesome. Downey took advantage of free wine and that paul giamatti wine movie.

We are staying at the navy hotel. We got in late, picked up food and checked in. The Rooms are 4 bedroom suites The boys are all staying together- we didn't need 16 bedrooms.