Tuesday, July 31, 2012

High and Low and Inbetween

"High and Low and the In-between" is a song written by Townes Van Zant. He wrote it about life, but it really struck me this is "The Artist Alma Mater". It best describes working the road. In one night you can get a standing ovation audience who hangs on every word you put out, every nuance is appreciated, and then two hours later you get boo'ed. All you can do is think to your self I was just funny- this is the same shit I did last show. The early show thought I was brilliant and now I feel I don't deserve to be up here. The in-between is the time you're not high or depressed after a show or when you take a break for a few days. I usually spend my days off in my apartment with my wife and dog avoiding large groups of people, resting and watching movies.

This is a very personal thing we do up here, we pour our soul out and open up to 20-2000 strangers a night, exposing our deepest inner thoughts, what we think is funny, sad and entertaining. We (comics musicians actors writers) have huge insecurities; we need instant gratification so badly we are willing to put it out there in front of all these people just to fight for their approval. Isn't that scary, we need that thrill that need to be loved by total strangers.

 I feel this passion for the art and the artist; I don't feel we deserve anything- I feel it needs to be worked toward and celebrated.  

This is why live artist tend to drink a lot or do drugs- to maintain the in-between. Numb the highs or block out the lows. The highs are great, but they go away when you step off stage, you want to keep it going right, so drink, and a lot, lets keep that high. But then the fall is really fast and hard. When you're on stage working- you work like a god but as soon as you step off you realize you live like a human. It goes away, this is a harsh reality and it affects you as a human as well as an artist.

The lows are the exact opposite; you can't shake a low till your next show, so drink it away, all you want to do is get to the in-between, you want to feel normal. This is the problem you try to numb it with booze and forget it but its part of you till you get back up and change the monkey on your back. This is an addiction too, who would put themselves through this punishment? Artists, its all we know, its what we need and crave.

As an Artist we hit highs and lows so often its really not healthy. It takes a toll on you physically and mentally. What people go through in a year we go through nightly. Imagine falling in love, and falling hard and getting dumped, most people go through that 7 times in a lifetime and its hard, we do it nightly. Some artists say it doesn't bother them but I think that is what makes artist grow bitter. They start feeling they "deserve" things because what they went through, meaning the hardships and the love from audience members now owe. You feel you deserve some sort of compensation for the love you feel on a nightly basis. I DESERVE a TV show or a film... I don't know how I feel about this. Do we deserve something? Maybe? But I don't think we are OWED anything- I kind of feel these are our training ground for when we do get something. And our compensation is "The High and Low and In-between"… We get gratification instantly, nightly. Deserving something you have to do on your own, on the side.

Don't get me wrong I want to do films, theatre and television work but do I deserve it from having people around the country telling me I should have my own show… I don't think so; I think that is what gives me the confidence and validity to continue pursuing this dream.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

i like being from this time... i think

On set of Drunken Idiots: The bosses
I am pleased to be alive at this time. There are a lot of great things going on within this generation, things are being made and invented.

Amazing things: IPADS, Nooks, cell phones that do everything- camera- video –scheduling things- GPS- Texts- email- surf the web- MP3 player and some of them even have phones in them where you talk to text.. the listener gets a text... reads it, then talks to text back..
It's almost as good as talking to someone.. but that's old school.

Baby Maddy already thinks I'm an outdated ol fart
Some of the quickness of things are slowing us down though- people can't walk without looking at there stupid little screens - walking like zombies around the city. I wish I lived pre-cell phone New York. Why do I have to be reachable at All times, if I don't answer or put my cell phone because i am spending an actual moment with someone or in another room, turn it off to get work done or sleep-there will be hell to pay from someone who thinks the concept of not being reachable is absurd. I don't want some people to reach me at all let alone at all hours.

Gizmo and Ryker are already texting dailey.
What about human contact, on the street, subway or even at a show/concert- people are walking and driving in there own little world- paying no attention, there are perfectly good humans walking all around them.
People go into there own little world- everyone on the subway has their ear buds in- yes I know most of the people on the subway I wouldn't want to talk but at least sit in their own thoughts for a moment.

My wife is the only person I'll talk to some days.

But where is the human contact. I see people who are friends sitting next to each other listening to their shitty house music instead of talking about their bad taste in music.

Here is the real issue- as a performer I cannot stand the fact there are folks who can't not text in the 2 hour period they are at a show.. If its an emergency- maybe your not stable enough to come to a show. If your bored-LEAVE.

Get with it or get out of the way...

And of course social media. What happened to my friends in real life? I don't have time to hang out with them – They are in a theatre company getting in touch with their roots to communicate and be story tellers yet i can only chat with them via text message.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

whats wrong with people

With all the technology out there and advancement out there do you think we would connect better? We can talk to people all over the world in a word wide web (a make believe word inside cables that connect people meet across the world) you think we would be more tolerant and hungry to see new points of view... All this technology we can use to learn about each other, communicate to one another, share passions, see we are not that different and yet we still have assholes fighting over youtube videos... You Tube Critics are the lowest forms of people because 99% of them arent doing anything creative themselves- they just go after people who are.
Every time I read comments on someones youtube videos it always goes racist then homophobic.. I'm starting to think not everyone should be allowed a computer.

No one gets along, even though- they all have soapboxes to spout their views and read other peoples points. Shouldn't we get patience or understanding of each other (we get to spread our thoughts and beliefs out into the world)? No we use these soapboxes to judge other peoples videos on youtube or twitter and call each other "fags" and thats classy..
I do not understand the dislike button, if you dont like the video - just move to the next one.. why do we allow "critics" with zero credibility judge someones opinion or art?
I understand real critics- I don't always care about what they say. Critics and reporters fall into the same situation to me.. If your self proclaimed- The review doesnt mean as much- I respect its your opinion but there is a diference from an ABC/FOX or cnn reporter than fart facts .com reporter.. though fartfacts would be intereasting news..

This being said- Artists tend to try and push the envolope and shock the crowd- I'm not a fan of that style unless it is super clever and enjoy the dance that is made with the subject. Allowing an honest or tastful perspective lets me see where he or she is coming from and find the humor or drama with them. If your goal is to shock me I'm probably not in your audience wheelhouse but will still respect you for your art.

Its the same problem I have with hecklers at comedy shows. As a comic I know its my choice to choose material that will allow me to not deal with them AND/OR/BUT if you are an audience member and you are offended- just leave.. No one in the crowd cares you disagree with the comedian- your free to not like what is being said and your free to leave- to yell out means you think your opinion is more important than everyone else who may or may not be enjoying the show.

I believe reality TV is making people see "people behaving badly" and rewarding them. Its a sad state that the entertainment biz is allowing such low level of class be the standard.

In stand up: The comedian is being paid to voice their opinions and stories- you (audience) paid to hear them. If you are not satisfied with the show you can contact the club and asked to be reimbursed or to come back and see a comic that is more your taste.. not yell out during a show.
But while on the subject if a comic attacks a random customer- I say free game to go back at them. I am not a fan of the comic who attacks the audience.. As a performer I get very uncomfortable watching these kinds of comics and really laugh when the comedian is mad about a retort.In the age of all this technology there isnt much of an excuse - if you are easly offended- look up the artists you plan to see- not everyone is what you want them to be.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

random thoughts.

Pat, Kevin and myself.. no relation.. wierd

We fight over religion- to me religion is like philosophy, it is what you devote your time too. Whether it is God, women, booze or money- what you think about and work toward the most. Most people in this world's religion (whether they claim Catholic, Muslim, Jewish, etra. etra) is money- that's the problem. Money and greed can be a very dirty things. Whatever you devote your strength, time and effort too is what your religion is.I have two grandmother who devoted their lives to God and being good people because its his word. I think people fight about money, land and talent most of the time. When one party doesn't have any they cant wait to attack someone who does.

drunk dog
Alcoholics worship booze- I like to drink, I mean in general- I like a lot of fluids going through my body. But at a meal, why not make it count- I don't want milk, soda or water- I want something with substance, something that matters. Some times being drunk- sobers you up- you see things from a different point of view. I want to share stories and points of views, dig into lives of other people. I want to understand people but some people I don't get.

My hero's are artists- I guess art is my religion, whether its paint, music, acting, spoken word, comedy, writing or poetry- I want something that changes me- makes me think- we don't do enough of this anymore. Everything is an instant gratification- no one takes the time to make it good or matter. It comes down to money allot of the time.

I believe when someone gets into making films.. they started out as actors in the theatre, found no money in theatre and say "I'll make films.. Allot of time see the biz side makes better money. There is money in it BUT I'll make FILMS!!! Win artsy film festivals, have a point of view.. something to be proud of... change the world"... then end up making a movie.. maybe a flick or producing "hill billy hand fishing".

This thinking is what gets reality tv made- NO ONE likes it- yet they keep making tv shows about people with jobs that require no education.. (psssst. if this was "that" interesting more people would be driving trucks on ice and opening junk stores instead of not watching it).

Real stuck up women yelling at each other is something I try to avoid daily.. These people are gross and we as a society allow it to be the norm.. Remember when Springer was considered outrageous?

The theater the ammoralists  used to perform
Comedy or drama- I want to be challenged to think or to not think and be swept away into another reality. We need to do what we can to make a difference with each other; I try and make my act have a little theatrics maybe a little happiness but mostly as much of me being honest and sharing as I can.

Today we are a replica with the counter culture of the late 60's but We are going to look bad with future generations, embarrassed at our behavior to each other. We treat each other poorly and are afraid to produce art because money is the religion of now. 
We don't want to be like our parents- we are too cool- so to us its money, money, money. Free love is dead- we live in a age that women look up to strippers, porn stars, gold digging soccer moms, hookers (wait same thing) and women behaving badly in public. I would like to think this is funny in an ironic sense- but I am afraid I am wrong. People are acting like thes types of people in real life.
The bad guys are winning and we think its cute. Dumb violent and superficial we continue to spiral down the toilet like a bunch of turds who won't see what we really are because we are trying to float above the other turds. We lost the concept of comunity, we are gypsys who think being tough is better than being good. I hope the next generation see's this and rebells against the ignorance.

Psychologists say "people who perform on stage are crazy- they didn't get enough love as a kid." I say fuck you- Maybe some artists want to change things, try and make an honest living creating something beautiful and fulfilling. Angie will make sure Maddy and Giz will be normal

Monty: a man from the 60's He knows music

It's not ALL GOOD- There is too much bad art and too many people trying to say they are artists, that do it for fame or money (god did they pick the wrong field). 

Most of my friends are in it to create- they want to say something, make people smile and oddly enough they become sucsessful monataraly.

I don't listen to new rock or pop music- I want music where people have talent- and they are trying to say something. Where they are soloing, jamming playing together, music you can feel, not someone showing off vocal exercises and singing to electronic symphony with no souls.

There is no human connection in the music anymore and the graphic designers touching up photo's we are not hearing or looking at real people.

Joel and Nick: Two of my favorite people who allow me to be whoever I am.

I am an intelligent, wise, spiritual and sensitive human being, with the soul of a clown, which always makes me blow it when it counts but I have a soul (its deep and covered with paint to look happy). I am finding who I am, not what I thought I wanted to be. Sometimes I get tired of the image that is put on me- which I concencelly and unconcencly have made for myself. I am finding I am not the image I wanted to once be, I don't have the money I wanted- I definitely am not as cool as I wanted to be at this age. I am merely a shadow of my former self- odd, considering I was never anyone important? To me, all the cool, hip popular shit is out the window- I am just me, and I guess that's enough- I am complicated in a simple way. I hope you as confused as me.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

San Antonio a World of Food

Spank and I have an old fashion soda..

austin to san antonio
KoolAid knows where to get BBQ

Every time I come to Texas I see my good buddies from LOL CLUB.. We always have a gentlemans night where everyone brings food or drink of their choice and we rock out... till security makes us leave.. but it is fun for all.

everything is bigger in Texas.. even JENGA

Gentleman's night out

Free Bird Burrito

Kitty litter Cake