Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Travel Home from Kosovo w/ Stop in Vienna

Travel Home from Kosovo

Here is a map at the airport This is to show where Kosovo is. Not Alot of folks know really where it is

Day 10
4 AM we are loading up the van and getting ready to head to the airport. I was thinking about last night while I was at the gym the guy who ran everything was from Kosovo and me and him got along very well. He was proud to tell me all the famous people who are Albanian.

· James (Jim) Belushi- American Actor

· Tony Dovolani - Dancing With The Stars

· John Belushi -American Actor

· Ledina Çelo - model, singer

· Eliza Dushku - American actress

· Marie Logoreci - actress, singer, director

· Peter Malota

· Enver Gjokaj - American actor

· Mother Teresa - Roman Catholic nun

· Muhammad Nasiruddin al-Albani - was an important, influential and Islamic scholar

· Pope Clement XI - Pope

· John Cena - profesional wrestler

· Regis Philbin – television

Then he invited me to his mothers house for dinner tomorrow but we had to leave in the morning. I thought that was one of the nicest things I ever was offered. He gave me a list of great Albanian food to try when I got back to Ny:



FLI- with honey, cheese and sour cream.

I can’t wait to try it- I think I had burek at a little place by my old apartment on 37th street.

On the way to the airport there was a wild horse running in the streets
As we drove to the Airport Sergeant Maples Started telling me a story about when he was stationed in Germany they would have to set up Convoys on the Autobahn and there would be fifty or so NATO and US vehicles traveling along the autobahn in a row and they wouldn’t go to fast because they where big and allot of them so they put hazards on and stayed in the right lane.

Germans are known for making great vehicles but not making great drivers. They all think they are great drivers. They said every convoy at least one person would screw up crash into them and die. That’s not good odds on these German folks. Motorcycles would slam into a giant 16-wheeler ant there wouldn’t be much of a trace at 200mph. A BMW flying down the highway and not be able to stop in time would drive right under a MWRAPs back tiers making them a metal pancake.

One time they where driving and they just heard “boom” a beamer slammed into the back of the rig so they pulled over and called the German police. The man in the NATO truck was a medic so he went to work. Driver didn’t have a chance he was as flat as a Frisbee, the two in the back where butt ass naked and was going at it during the wreck. The girl was banged up (no pun intended) but ok. The guy was hurt and unconscious so the medic did what he could. He had to do mouth to mouth and try and revive him. The cops showed up and started to investigate everything. Turns out the guy are one of Germanys most wanted for… ready for this. Mass Murder, he has AIDS- knows it and is trying to give it to every man and women he can. The women starts freaking out and the NATO guys tease the medic for years about this he turned out all right. We don’t know about the women.

We checked in at the airport and off to Vienna via Austrian Airlines. Austrian airways are amazing they brought food or drink every hour. At one point I refused and the stewardess nodded no still handing it to me. I realized why it what a chocolate croissant and it was amazing. All the food they served was great, sorry comics you will have to stop the hacky airline food jokes.

I tried to catch up on sleep I was looking forward to seeing Angie and getting home. The people sitting next to me was a mother and daughter going to the states for vacation. 5 days NYC, 5 days San Francisco, 2 in Vegas, 4 days looking around national parks and 3 in LA. They seemed so excited; I was excited for them and tried to give them tips in NY for fun cheap stuff. I wished them the best of luck and safe travels and hope America seduces them like Europe did for me.

Monday, July 5, 2010

DAY 9 Camp Band Steel

Happy Fourth of July Camp Band Steel
Even Kittens in Kosovo love america
Allot of Hazards: yet not one DJ Hazard (my dear friend)

My digs- Above: Room. Left bottom: Library Right bottom: Wreck Room

I went and grabbed breakfast at this coffee shop and saw the perfect example of the “Balkan Attitude”. The girl running the coffee shop is from Kosovo, she had a line of 2 or 3 soldiers and she walked outside with a plate of food (I though delivering an order). She sat down with what appeared to be her boyfriend and started eating but always said please and thank you when you would order. I now think it isn’t rude its self first kind of feel.
The people who put this all together Renee, Jay, Sgt Maples and us met up and hung out. Eating BBQ, potato salad, corn and stuff just talking away for a while. Parker leg started really hurting so they went to the on base hospital (old skating accident gone wild). There was a band, I think they where from the base. As I sat and people watched I laughed all the foreign soldiers smoke. With healthy people who are the warriors wouldn’t you think they wouldn’t smoke? There was a small scare it was going to rain there was an extremely light sprinkle but it passed.


Who ever designed the toilets was crazy. They are backwards to the deep part is in the front but there isn’t any water in it. When you dispose of whatever you are doing it looks like its on a ceramic slab like at a morgue. When you flush it is sitting on the slab and a gush of water knocks it into the hole that’s up by the front. If you are sitting that means whatever you just released washes up on your front. NICE.

The show was set up to seem like it was going to be a nightmare. The stage was in front of the gym facing a volleyball court and horseshoe pit. To the left were tables and to the right were BBQ pits and grills. The late band was sound checking. Right before we where going to start slowly but surely people where pulling chairs up and moving up close. The American Soldiers sat right up front and English speaking people where off to the side: Danish (who where awesome), Swedes, Armenian, Italian, Greek, Turkish and German. The Danish guys all wanted photos and couldn’t quite talking to us they where so great and the one guy was joking about going after me because I was doing shout outs to the different countries and after the third where only one person cheered I bailed.

I love trying to figure out which soldiers where from where by there color then stereo type before I looked on the shoulder to see the flag.

The Swedes
Above: Greeks


The line for the meet and greet was very long and the troops where so thankful for us being there. I think we are still shocked because we are so honored to be here. We learned the group out of North Dakota is leaving to go home in two weeks. They where all excited to go home and I was excited for them.

The line for the meet and greet was very long and the troops where so thankful for us being there. I think we are still shocked because we are so honored to be here. We learned the group out of North Dakota is leaving to go home in two weeks. They where all excited to go home and I was excited for them. These guys brought us back on stage and handed us awards and dog tags! I love NATO and CBS

When we finished The Rising Stars (the Army’s version of American Idol) or as I called it NATO got Talent. They are down to there final 3. They where really good, I mean really good. The winner goes to DC and competes for a huge prize against 16 other bases. The last band went on they are called “Off the Wall” and they where great. They rocked for hours. Well I have a 4 AM flight to Vienna so I got to hit the sack.

Renee (momma) getting an award from the man!
4th of July Party till dawn

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Welcome to Kosovo Bondsteel

Day 8

Above: The night before they where at the Show. We are leaving to go to Kosovo to tell dick jokes, They are leaving to become heros in Afgan.

Left: Saying Goodbye to Rico. We will miss you and Germany. To quote Rico "Germany is ze best.. It is perfect.
I am exhausted; I slept the 3-hours bus ride to Frankfort Airport. After this whole airport thing I never want to hear another European complain Americans are rude. This was the single worst display of humanity in a business I ever seen. The sentence Form a line is just a suggestion these Balkan Vultures swarm the front and will knock an old women over to be next. Sense of space they have NO IDEA what that means. I could feel the guy behind me breathing on my neck. I don’t even want to feel Angie nose breathing on my neck. When we boarded the bus and stopped at our plane people stepped over people to board and where loud and obnoxious the whole time. I thought it was just I being tired but Carol almost got in a fist fight with a troll who pushed her and Parked put gum in her hair (revenge is sweet, but she may never wash and find out about it) There was no holds barred going for luggage

Welcome to Pristine Kosovo. Bondsteel Nato Base

The Passport guy said I should have fun because Kosoians LOVE Americans, they even have a statue of Bill Clinton down town. The young Albino’s/Albanians all are sporting Short soccer player mullets.
Our Guides where great and explained allot of cool stuff to us: Being around them we had such a detailed history of everything Balkan. The Mountain “The Duke” in the last few days lost its snow cap (I guess Al Gore was right, don’t get caught forcing yourself on another women, what?!?). Duke is above behind the building

The serbs and Albainians have been fighting since the beginning of time and never took the time to just advance and you can tell. They never finish building a house 20 sometimes 30 years go by until construction is complete.
Their roads are completely lawless, I am serious you can not get pulled over. Imagine what that’s like after hearing about the airport. We saw a guy with the frame of a car being pulled by horses, Cows wonder in the streets as do the kids.
Right: Not the base, its a juvy hall
The Balkan Mountain Range is a host for crime. In fact it is the number one place for human trafficking, heroin import from the Middle East and the Albanian mob if ruthless with gun and arm trading and not respecting human life. This doesn’t to concern the Americans and NATO though they are trying to get them to form a police dept. They are worried about another holy war. It was explained like this: our presence is like a bad kid getting paddled and mom keeps it out to remind him to be good and what can happen.

Kosovos only Bowling Alley in the entire country.. All 4 lanes of action

We walked the base for a bit, its very simple clean and efficient. All members of NATO have a presence here so there is allot of cool stuff. They where having Karaoke in the main stage (where we are tomorrow) tonight. I was reminded of their cool library situation. By Library I mean a room of shelves and its full of books you can just take with the agreement you will drop it when your done at whatever base your at.

I was exhausted so- GYM- DFAC- Computer- shower Type- Sleep. I am looking forward to tomorrow. Right before bed I met these contractors guys who fix things at the Radar and tower area. I talked to them for a while and randomly there was a rabbit who ran out under a housing area and it was bigger than any dog I ever owned, it was a rabbit or a small goat that learned to hop.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Heading to Rammstien

Before we leave Wiesbaden we wanted to venture around the downtown. We didn’t make it but I wanted to see a place called “Heathens Wall” it dates back to 364 AD when the Romans ran this place.

We saw Hessisches Staat Theatre (state theatre) built 1894 it was very impressive, I wish we could have went inside. I kept thinking what it would be like to do Happy in the Poorhouse” there

Germans Love their Parks: almost as much as they love David Hasslehoff and world domination.

We did see “The Market Church” Its was built in 1852 and is the highest building.

Left: The beging of the shopping district in Wiesbaden
Right:This building is across from our hotel.

There was a small wedding we stumbled upon.

We also walked around the shopping district, guess Germans aren’t known for their fashion sense. I was thinking Angie and I could dress like this for our wedding.

I slept the whole ride to Ramstein and woke up just as we arrived. Rico told us it was very busy their PX is so big people from bases all over come here to shop.

Christine is the girl showing us around, the base is huge. We ate at the Macaroni Grill; I ate way to much and couldn’t stay awake so I napped which I was pissed about. I wanted to see more stuff. I heard that The base is so much bigger that the actual town here.
The Front gate was a bit intimidating but I think that’s because I was listening to Du Haus in my head by Ramstien.
Christine couldn’t make the first half of the show because they had a huge freedom fest tomorrow and she had to go help with that. (She said she was new but she was awesome and had everything under control) Christine’s sidekick Amber took Amazing care of us feeding us hooking up with anything we needed. Right before show time I saw on the wall Christine was employee of the month.

This is our greenroom: Yes we had an entire Martini Bar to ourselves.

We had a ton of fun with the crowd and had a situation with sound that Amber fixed right away. After the show the girls and I sat in the greenroom talking and eating, Im really not in the mood to drink, if I moved to Europe I would be pickled. I went back with Carol and Leighann we leave for Kosovo in the morning.