Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Diego Garcia

 Diego Garcia: aka Gilligans Island

Welcome to Diego Garcia: 86 degrees, bright and sunny paradise. There is a nice breeze that keeps things cool here. I would have been a horrible soldier in Nam; jungle heat is not for me. We had a long plane ride on a D-8 with several other people and I started thinking there isn’t much lonelier than being on tour on the other side of the planet, and I’m here with friends. There isn’t much communication with the world I know and this is now days. Imagine what an 18 year old was thinking in NAM or WW2? 

I’m also coming somewhere to have fun and tell jokes what about these long flights going to go into jungle war fare- that would have made me crazy. I really look up to anyone who was in a war. I am 29- would it be easier if I was 10 years younger- I don’t know. Hats off to you vets!

We are coming in for a landing and we are in the middle of the Indian Ocean. I am very excited to be on the island. We go through British Security and watch some videos on safety. A dog sniffed Downeys crotch at the airport and he looked over toward me and said “it smelled like every sailor that went through NY!” that was odd. We have 3 shows here so we get to stay for a while. We met our contact and went to an amazing Mongolian BBQ place on the beach and headed back. 

We are all travel logged. On the island you need to fill jugs up with potable water for drinking. My view on potable water: I’m all about being green I just don’t want to poop that color.

The Philippians send people to work on the island so the grocery has some weird stuff
 Where the hell are we!

The People In Charge

In Order: Command Master Chief Collins, Kevin Downey Jr., Left Tenet Logistics Officer Alex Flinton, Stephan Kruiser, Carol Montgomery, Command Officer Tony Chatan, Leigann Lord, Executive Officer Musgraves, Mark Riccadonna

We met some officers and they where awesome:

Tony Chamtan (sorry if I butcher the names its off of memorie) He is the Comanding Officer, He came across as a movie character of the man in charge. What a cool dude, out of Louisiana.

Mussgraves aka “The Cowboy” one of the funniest executive Officers I ever met, cracking some great jokes during the meeting.

Collins: He didn’t say much at the beginning, he came across as the tough type but once the Q&A was over he cracked us up. He is a Command Master Chief out of the upstate NY area(by the Canadian border)

And last but not least Logistics Officer from Manchester England Alex Flinton. I thought going in wow a powerful female AND British she must get razzed quite a bit but she didn’t just hold her own she had us rolling on the floor laughing from busting chops.

 Leper colony remains (insert joke here)

This morning we woke up (tues) to watch Monday night football. Its 5:30 AM and we start making cocktails. Underground comedy tour.. “We do more drinking by 6AM than most do all day”. We went to radio and acted up, I’m a little nervous we were obnoxious.
We touched The INDIAN OCEAN
We got to tour around after radio: Kevin, Stephan and I were laughing that the birds outside our door are called Boobies and the barking sound we hear are gecko lizards. Kelly Harkins (our guide I so rudely didn’t introduce you the reader to) showed us around and explained here the bright blue water is the lagoon (sharks don’t swim there) and dark water is ocean (don’t swim there). 

There are wild donkeys they call it donkey gate (sounds like a government incident), Turtle cove where sea turtles come to lay eggs. The Brits amade allot of the island a nature preserve.
Because of the location there are allot of storms but not bad ones.

THE CREW: Underground All Stars
 Stephan Kruiser, Carol Montgomery, Leighann Lord, Mark Riccadonna and Kevin Downey Jr.

The base is a huge fuel farm and perfectly located to be the warning for anyone over here (this side of the marble) thinks of getting out of control- Britain and the US will spank you. The Land is Britons and the buildings on it are ours. We have a few B-52s here which was awesome seeing and France had a leprosy colony here and we went to get pics and carol freaked saying she got leper juice on here. We were dyeing laughing, she kills me. This will be a fun stretch to do- in one place for a couple days; I hope the weather stops raining.
This is the plane not the band.. just saying show respect!
Right: B-52. One of my favorite planes EVER. It looks like a vulture.
BELOW: WEPONS.. NAVY STYLE these guys are bad ass!

ABOVE: I am really looking forward to the show but before this happens we went to the weapons department (Navy) and got a great tour. There aren’t pics for obvious reasons but believe me when I say there is enough fire power to start a big war on this little island. We saw war heads guidence systems and all the fun stuff

 These two on the left are Medal of Honor holders.. They gave their lives to get those medals. the top one looks like Kevins brother (famous author) Pat Downey 
Below he looks allot like our fellow average white guy comic DJ HAZARD. We said NAVY guys either look like jolly underage, happy go luckies or grizzled salty dogs. Below this is the clinic, If you get seriously hurt it will take 3 days to get you out OR if you cant wait the life vac to fly you out is somewhere around $250,000 just to get you off the island.

SHOW TIME: First show in Diego

In the Island Room all night for 3 nights in a row.

There was a good crowd and they are the troops who are looking out for the other guys. They said they will get more people out.
 I wish you as the reader could view how bad the color is on this SUV she is driving!
Our DD- Kelly. We only drove 2 doors down in her lime green SUV but we love her anyway for hooking all of us up. Kelly is awesome for getting us some amazing things coming up with the AFE, MWR and Diego Garcia crew!