Brad, Will, The New Yorker, and I loaded up for a ride in the C130. To the right is Conti, the sweetest killer you'll ever meet. These guys are the most excellent humans you could ever meet, but I wouldn't want to be on their wrong side.
Well, we are up bright and early, flying out to IRAQ. Flight time is 9:00 but got delayed till 12:00. It was a weird day. We had to say goodbye to our security team. Conti, Brad, and our new, New York buddy(he still works in NY as an anti-terrorism squad so I won't use his real name). Finally, we loaded up full armor and got on a C130. It was awesome. The Kevlar vest weighs around 30lbs. FYI
Baghdad
We are up bright and early, flying out to IRAQ. Flight
time is 9:00 but got delayed till 12:00. It was a weird day. We had to say
goodbye to our security team. Conti, Brad, and our new, New York buddy (he still
works in NY as an anti-terrorism squad so I won’t use his real name). Finally, we loaded up full armor and got on a C130. I grew up right by the Youngstown
Air Force Base and my father even work there. I've seen these a million times, but I never thought I would be flying as cargo. The Kevlar vest weighs around
30lbs. FYI
The C130 is a tight squeeze. We were with a brand new group
of guys out of Louisiana, and they were on their first deployment. One of the
guys asked if we wanted to switch I go on patrol- he tells jokes. The flight was
long and rough, we were in full armor, hot and shared the ride with a lot of
soldiers, it's loud and bumpy! If I get sick- I hope Baghdad has showers!
This building is where the BATH political party stayed, now
it is a USAF base. The ceiling is one of those cool echo chambers like in Grand
Central so they could have meetings without microphones.
We landed at Victory Camp (former Baghdad airport) we are staying in Sadam’s hunting palace. It’s charming (for a war zone). I am looking forward to looking around.
Judd, our driver, took me on tour around the base: I was the
only one to take him up on this, the other comics were exhausted.
Just as we were loading into the van, we saw a truck come in, and we stopped. It was the wounded Warriors, These young guys are guys who lost
their limbs and decided to go back. Real Heroes, I mean the top of the line guys.
There was one guy, and they told me this great story about how excellent their
sense of humor is. Sergeant Schlitz. He was burnt head to toe and is missing
his hands. The General told him he was going to see about getting him involved
in the hand transplant program, Slitz without even blinking at the general said
if its a 16-year-olds transplant and I master bate -does that make me a
pedophile. I love he has a sense of humor in his situation, these are real men.
Victory base camp population is around 25,000 this base is
all of Sadams AlFa Palace, this is where our prominent generals stay, and the
troops remain in bunkers. The security here is all Ugandan so you can’t get away
with anything, ALWAYS have your passport and orders! Liberty base and Slayer
base are sections in Victory camp.
These are Russian tanks. The turret isn’t fastened down, so when they
were blown up, the tops popped off! They are located right outside Sadam Palace
(Victory over IRAN)
.The domed building is “The Perfume Palace,” which is where Sadam kept
his slave prostitutes. Underage slave Prostitutes. He believed God can’t see
what happens on the water- so he built a man-made lake (while his citizens died of
thirst) so he could do his evil bidding.
SADAMS PALACE (Victory over IRAN)
You can't believe the damage that has been done here.
The building is impressive "looking" They said he liked to
make it look expensive, but the walls were stuffed with paper. Cheap insulation, so I guess he is like some New Yorkers I know- Flashy and Broke. I got to have
a little (unofficial tour). I’m not sure if I was allowed to go in, but it was
awesome.
The Flintstone village was built for Sadam's grandkids… Ahh isn’t
that a sweet grandpa, well he made them because he felt bad about killing his
son in law AKA, their dad, Man I’m glad I get along with my in-laws.
At night we did a show
It was awesome 300 plus soldiers. Everyone stuck around, and we got to talk to
the soldiers for a few hours. We were then interviewed for Armed Forces
Entertainment and a couple newspapers. This has been an honor to do shows for
these guys. I love my job.
DAY 4 Tarminya and
Taji
The day started, and we forgot our orders and passport on our jog, so we didn’t get to go to the gym, no real sweat for me- It’s hot here, and I am sweating enough.
We were up early and ready
to go, hit the DFAC (Dining Facility), and were boarding the black hawks. While
waiting for the Hawks, we saw the M wraps up close. They rock- Tanks on wheels.
STORMTROOPERS
The choppers were late, but
once we strapped in, it was incredible!! They are much like a roller coaster but
smooth as can be! Carol and I like the Black Hawks WAY too much, I wish I could
go to every gig in one of these!
When we fly all, I think
about is "All Along with the Watch Tower" by Jimmy Hendricks.
Base: JSS Tamiya
We took Black Hawks into
work today; I've taken elevators, stairs, limos, bikes, sports cars, cabs,
subways once a snowmobile, but never a Black Hawk. This was huge, they ride
smooth and are fantastic handling.
Passing over Baghdad, it
looked like a giant meth lab, The houses are either crap or a vast mansion, not
too much in-between. There is a specific power you feel when flying like that.
Getting strapped in was excellent, you feel unbelievably safe.
The JSS Tarmiya felt like
a grade school playground with awesome graffiti (even the skull with the porno
stash.
They just got hit a couple
days ago, so they were really excited to have a show and forget their problems
for a couple hours. It started as a slow audience, but when one group got off
patrol, they filled the outside. It threw me off when I was halfway through a
story, and a group of dirty soldiers with machine guns walk in and take a seat.
Their spirits were high, considering someone threw a grenade into a striker and
injured 2 of our guys.
BRING CALVERY!
The show was just
unbelievable, they were so much fun! Ditto one of the soldiers from the early
show wants to do comedy I told him DO IT!! Following your dream is so essential, especially someone who does what you do, you already defy the odds- this will
not be taking a chance.
We got a tour of the
Strikers! We took a photo with the Striker Force and their VERY German Sheppard
DAX.
I was so impressed
Sergeant Harris gave us an indebt tour he showed us how everything works with
the guns and armor and how important it was for us to come for morale.
The base was small, and
they said they had exactly as many people as they need- no more no
less. They are a small group of Warriors, and they earned my respect and
the respect of our country.
Cornel Ed Shock. The
man, the myth, my bunkmate! I never shared a room with a cornel…
Base 2 JSS Taji:
This was a big base- it is
kind of where most of the black hawks are. Upon arrival we met in a war room
with Garrison Command Major Sly Bolton and all his BAMA boys, being an Ohio
State fan I didn’t talk much. The Calvary was so lovely, the food was excellent.
There were 400 peeps in
attendance, and they wanted a show, and bo they got a show. Everyone was amazing.
After the show, we did our meet and great but had to hustle out to catch our chopper.
Plaques:
4 days in, and I got 2! I love the Military!
The glowing things are not Storm Troopers From Star Wars- they are US Storm Troopers in IRAQ. Carol Tearing it up, 400 plus soldiers watched us tonight in a picnic area.
4 days in, and I got 2! I love the Military!
The glowing things are not Storm Troopers From Star Wars- they are US Storm Troopers in IRAQ. Carol Tearing it up, 400 plus soldiers watched us tonight in a picnic area.
I look like Captain Caveman! I need a shave so they know I am on their side.